How To Resolve Conflicts With Your Family? You Must Die To Self.

If you are a married person like me then you must relate with the bickering and the disagreements that happens between you and your spouse.

A small fight can end up big and ugly really quick especially when both parties have big egos and are very identified with their sense of self.

It is the sense of self that gets triggered, insulted, ready to fight and defend itself and this is the time when you need to be quick and think about God's command which is to die to self! 

Yesterday, my husband and I had a disagreement and words were spoken and I was present enough to choose to die to self and not allow my ego to get the best of me. I took it as an opportunity to practice being slow to anger as God commanded me because I wanted to please God by following him and not just mainly to please my husband!

I want to follow God's command because I so badly want to show him that I respect him very much just like a child respects his father's commands and instructions.

And God was right...I yielded and controlled my tongue and did not allow my ego to fight and defend and it sure did diffuse and deescalate the fight.  I simply stood and listened to my husband's dialogue and I stayed calm and prayed to God at the same time to give me the grace to stay calm. 

Proverbs 15:18 says "A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, while a patient person calms a quarrel."

It is this self that is hurt and angry and without this sense of self you are able to stay calm and follow God's instruction when it comes to handling conflict.

You need to realize how your prideful self hinders you from experiencing peace and love! 

I have two sisters and we've had our fair share of fights.

Me and my older sister have this rivalry and it's always been difficult getting along and there were multiple times when me and her did not talk to each other for 1-2 years. 

I love my Mother so much and because of my love for her I would always be the one to reach out to try to patch things up so that I could give my Mother the gift of a complete family.

I am not perfect and we still have small fights here and there  but I am so thankful that I have God and his commands help me stay on the narrow path.

Forgiving and yielding may seem like I lost the battle but the truth is I get to have a relationship with my family.

I do not care about winning, I care about dying to self and following Christ and he does command us to be slow to anger, yield and forgive and when I do follow him then disagreements gets resolved and I get to have a relationship with my family and I get to please God. 

Genesis 26:21-22 says "Abram put family peace above personal desires when he gave Lot first choice."

Following his commands can be difficult but there's no other better way to do life!

If you want to live then God's way is the only way to follow!

It gets easier to follow Christ when you are willing and devoted to die to self!

These are some Bible verses that discuss ego and pride:

• Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."
• Proverbs 11:2 says "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
• Proverbs 16:5 says "The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished."

Ego and pride are signs that we are operating based on our ego and that is the self that Jesus tells us to die from before we can follow him. 

I encourage you to drop your sense of self...be free from it and follow Jesus!

-Jennifer